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A man came to the rabbi and said, “Rabbi I have decided to become an atheist.” “Why?’ asked the rabbi. “Because I prayed so hard and long for G-d to help me buy my dream home and I still have not been able to do so. That’s proof that there is no G-d,” concluded the man. “No it is not,” said the rabbi. “It is proof that G-d said no.” 

Praying is very challenging. Many of us only really engage in it when we need something from G-d and then are disappointed when we find that it does not work. The truth is that praying and having one’s prayers answered is an art and to receive the desired results it has to be done correctly. Praying without understanding how to pray is akin to sitting in a car without ignition keys and expecting it to drive.
 
It is fundamental to understand that praying must be about serving another and not about serving oneself. For many people, praying is just another way to further their material desires. They feel that it will be easier for them to attain what they want and need by asking G-d for it. In reality, however, successful prayer is very far removed from that model.
 
The great Kabbalist and founder of the Chassidic movement, the Baal Shem Tov explained the verse from Psalms (121:5) that says, “G-d is your shadow” in the following way. Just as a shadow follows and mimics the person, so G-d takes the person’s lead and acts as the person does.
 
In this vein the Talmud says that divine mercy is granted to those who have mercy on fellow humans – through acts of charity. In the introduction to the priestly blessing
G-d says: “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying: Ko (This is how) you shall bless the children of Israel…” (Number 6:23). The Kabbalists explain “Ko” to mean that this is the prototype for how to pray: by praying  for others, as the priests do for the Jewish people,  G-d’s blessing is incurred for oneself as well. As the Talmud says: "He who prays for his fellowman while he himself has the same need will be answered first.” (Talmud, Baba Kamma 92a)
 
So if we pray in a selfless manner G-d follows that lead and acts in our favour.  The Kabbalists, however, add that there is a more sublime way of doing this.  We can indulge G-d with an offering by making our prayers an act of recognition of His presence. By doing this we are in a sense giving something to G-d and when we pray in order to give then G-d mimics us and gives to us as well. And once again this is reflected in the priestly blessing: the palm facing upwards receives; the one facing downwards gives. 
 
When the priests give their blessings they stretch out their arms and hold their hands facing downwards because their blessing is an act of giving. In this is contained the secret of prayer; in order to be successful it must be a selfless act of giving – either to G-d or to a fellow human being. 

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3.25 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."